At a great personal and emotional cost I made a decision today.
I decided to end my relationship with my girlfriend of over 4 years because when I brought up marriage, she told me she believed that God was not giving her peace with regards to saying yes to me.
It was devastating. God knows that I am hurting and I would like to think that she is too. It hurts a lot now and I know it will hurt for a long time.
Until now, I had kept waiting for her. Everyone who knew us thought that we were meant for each other and that one day, we would get married. I believed that too.
But for reasons that only the Lord alone truly knows, here I am.
I don’t hate her. I am not angry or upset at her. I’m just very sad and I wish that we didn’t end this way. I had always hoped and wished that we would get married one day and be able to love one another for the rest of our lives.
The Lord has other plans. He has brought me to Australia for reasons that He alone knows.
She is still a sister in Christ and will always be! We belong to the same family, for we both love Jesus and are a part of His body and one day, we will see each other again in Heaven. There won’t be any pain or awkwardness or hard feelings, just joy, for this is God’s promise to all who have placed their faith in Jesus Christ!
I am looking forward to 2011, leaning on and relying on the Lord Jesus to see me through these dark and despondent days ahead. True joy is in Him.
Jesus came to save us and while we are here on Earth, He has promised to heal and bind our broken hearts! Look at God’s promise in Isaiah 61:1-3:
The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion–to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor.
Jesus quotes a part of this verse in Luke 4:18. We are now living in the year of the Lord’s favor, for Christ has not returned a second time, which will be when God unleashes His vengeance.
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
Our Lord Jesus promises us His peace and instructs us to keep our hearts strong and free of fear!
Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.
Jesus wants us to share the Gospel with everyone. If we are to sit and dwell about our breakups and broken relationships, if we are to brood over our heartaches, we will not only hurt more, but also get lost in our pain (or pity party) and lose opportunities to serve Jesus and lead others to Him!
I am not saying that we should pretend to be fine and pretend to be strong Christians and pretend to not hurt and pretend to have it all together! NOT AT ALL! Deal with your sorrow by acknowledging it and giving it over to the Lord and sharing it with Christian brothers or sisters who are close to you and care for you. But do not let anyone, including the enemy/Satan, trap you in your sorrow and make you an ineffective Christian!
We cannot wish our pain away or pretend it does not exist. But as long as we have Jesus, we can do that which we might initially think is impossible, which is to let go and move on!
“With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”
God knows our hurt. God knows our pain. God knows our heart! Jesus is God and He knows us intimately and can sympathise with us because He has walked amongst us as one of us! He may not have had romantic relationships, but He endured and experienced a broken heart when His own creation, whom He loved and cared for deeply, rejected and crucified Him! He suffered more than any of us ever will!
So trust in Jesus and draw nearer to Him as you go through this time of sorrow and loss!
Read your Bible. Pray. Seek Jesus. Even now, He is right there beside you! He loves you more than anyone on this planet ever can or will.
Finally. Thank you Narmi Joy Manalang, for your love, for your patience, for your friendship, for your wisdom, for everything. I will miss “us” and what we shared. I have committed (as I am certain you have) each of our hearts into His compassionate, caring and capable hands. May His love lead us forward. I pray that the Lord will always bless you and keep you as you continue your journey in life and in faith.
Know that every time I remember you (and I know I will), I may feel sad, but I will turn that sad thought into a prayer for you. May God bless you and keep you Narmi.
I write with Christ in my heart and with faith holding me up.